so_shik | Forty-First Spool of Thread-[Written/Voice/Action]

[Private]
I...guess I should write this down somewhere before it totally eats at me forever. It's already been two weeks, and I'm still thinking about it just as much as I did the day it happened.

Being in Neku's body was totally weird, but at least it made more sense once we figured out what the point of the experiment was. You turn into what you love or desire the most. Obviously I love Neku the most. But...he turned into Eri. Me-Eri or Eri-Eri, I'm not sure.

I know, I know...Neku says he loves me. We've gone all the way, we've dedicated ourselves to each other, blahblahblah. If that's true though, wouldn't he have turned into the real me instead of her? Does that mean he desires Eri instead? He's never met Eri, but her body...maybe I had the right idea after all. Eri's prettier than I am, most of our class thinks so.

Shiki, stop it. You're better than this now. ...but if that's true, too, then why do I still feel so crappy about all of it?

This sucks. This whole feeling completely and totally sucks.
[/Private]

[Though the privatized portion of the entry is written, give her a few moments to fiddle and switch it over to voice.]

I didn't really think about it until someone else mentioned it, but it's official. I've celebrated two birthdays here, it's been two years since I've arrived, and I'm not seeing myself leaving anytime soon. I don't think I regret it though.

I mean, I think I've done a lot of growing up in the last two years. I'm seventeen as of a week ago, I've got my own business that's still thriving...well, as thriving as it can be without actually making money, and I've got some of the best friends I've ever met. I really can't say I regret Luceti.

This place kind of makes us grow for the better, don't you guys think? ...actually, now I'm really curious. Does anybody feel like they've changed for the worse since being stuck here? Give me your thoughts, I'm feeling up for some opinions today.

Also, I've decided I'm preparing early for my annual winter blow-out sale. All winter clothing needs to be out of All Passions by the beginning of March. Come by and pick out a sweater or ten!

[With that, she'll just kick back in her shop at the til with Mr. Mew, the journal open and a pop CD playing from somewhere. Come say hi, come call her out on her optimism, whatever.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...sort of. More like we kind of started just yelling at each other about a couple of different things.

And it didn't end well?

...we broke up. [There, she'd said it. The dramatic ending. Man, what would Minato think now? She's pretty nervous about his opinion.]

...I see. [well that's more extreme than he expected...]

Are you okay with that?

...well no, but what's done is done. We both got really mad, ended it, and now he's not coming home.

[the water is boiling now, so he stands up, pours it in the pot to steep and then carries that and the cups to the table, setting them in front of her.]

Time is probably the best thing right now.

Yeah...but what if he doesn't come back? [She's just going to stare at the pot and cups for now.] We both said a lot of things that just...he was already mad at me for other stuff before this.

Then you want him to come back?

I didn't actually mean for us to break up. The way I said it just came out that way.

Then for now... [...] I'd let it be.

...you really think I should just ignore it and that's that? Seriously?

[he shakes his head.] If you talk right now, you'll fight again.

But he wasn't making any sense. [Neither was she, but.]

[he's getting that sense.]

Before you go back, Shiki, you have to decide why you're angry and what you're willing to forgive.

...I'm only willing to forgive what he's willing to fix. And I'm angry about things he's been holding against me without telling me and the Eri thing.

[....oh Shiki...]

You've been together over a year, right?

Something like that, yeah. It's...been a really long time.

[and now he has to be delicate. He wants to make a point, but not upset her more than she already is.]

So by now you know his flaws. [...] The things he can't fix.

...[Give her a moment to really think that over.]

...yeah, I guess you have a point. But what if he's not even really trying? [She doesn't sound like she believes he's not though, it's more asking for asking's sake.]

You can believe in Neku-kun, and accept when he fails, or you can decide that doesn't work. [and leave the relationship ended, but he won't say that directly.]

I know you're right, really I do, but. [She just frowns a little.] He kept accusing me of still being in love with Haruki. I don't really want to accept that.

I wouldn't either. [never mind that... no one would accuse him of being in love with Haruki ever.] But that's something Neku-kun has to deal with himself.

It's all in his head!

...well, sort of. [...pouting.] Actually, he's got a bit of a point now that I really think about it. It's been over a year now though since all of that happened.

[everything's so complicated with her.]

So how do you feel now?

Like a major idiot. [Where's a headdesk icon when you need it?]

Forty-First Spool of Thread-[Written/Voice/Action]

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