so_shik | Forty-Fifth Spool of Thread

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Forty-Fifth Spool of Thread - [Voice/Action]

[There's a bit of a static feed as the journal turns on, and Shiki doesn't say anything for a moment. She's busy reading over everything from the last few days, but she finally decides to talk to the village at large.]

So. Hypothetical question. ...how long is too long to wait? For people, for objects, for anything. Give me your thoughts on this.

[Filtered to Angel]

Have you figured out your answer yet?

[/Filtered]

It's fall now, isn't it? I should get back to decorating. So another question...favorite thing about Halloween? Decoration-wise, holiday-wise, anything. This is pretty important.

[Important in the sense that when she's done addressing the journal, she's busy flitting about her shop. She's been spending the last few days rearranging all of the furniture and putting up new shelves and such with Haruhi's help. And now. There are fake maple leaves all over the walls. And outside. Along with some cut-out paper pumpkins strung along the walls. Villagers are free to find her outside on the porch of All Passions staplegunning things to the building and such.]

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[ there is. and you'll have to bear with him, shiki, because this is something angel hasn't really let himself deal with and saying the name is difficult enough. ]

There's someone else. Or was. She-- She died. Buffy went to high school with her and they weren't exactly friends. Never really liked eachother. I can't talk to her about C-- [ give him a second. angel takes in and lets out an unneeded breath of air, putting his head in his hands for a moment. why it's so easy to talk to this girl is beyond him, but maybe he just needs to talk about it and having an outsider's ear, and an ear that cares to listen, is what he really needs. ]

I can't talk to her about what happened to Cordelia and what I felt-- feel for her.

[ there are not words for how much he hates talking about his feelings, as freeing as this feels. ]

[This is basically what Shiki spends a lot of her time doing. She counsels people until she needs counseling herself. But she most certainly wasn't expecting that, and it's pretty clear by the look on her face.]

I can see how it'd be an issue, especially if she and Buffy didn't get along. [She doesn't think that makes it right for Angel not to talk to the girl, but it's a start.] So who is she anyway? How'd you end up meeting her?

She went to high school with Buffy, like I said. Buffy and I were together during her last three years of high school. I didn't think much of her, back then. [ by her, now, he means cordelia. saying the name once was hard enough. ] She was loud, obnoxious, rude, mean and very selfish. The Queen Bee of Sunnydale High. I broke up with Buffy before graduation and left shortly after it. I went to Los Angeles and ran into her [ again, cordelia. ] there. Trying so hard to make it as an actress and failing horribly at it. Vain enough to be a star, but not very talented.

[ no, he can't talk to buffy. he can't deal with any anti-cordelia sentiments from someone who still looks upon her like she's still snooty queen c, looking out for only herself. buffy didn't see cordelia grow and change, didn't help her through vision hangovers when the images that tore through her brain left her weak and in pain beyond his ability to help her. she'd been a champion in her own right, choosing to keep the visions when they were killing her so that she could keep helping people. all buffy would see was the high school rival who battled her for prom king and stole the boyfriend who left her behind. it was easier just to not mention cordy at all to her. talking about her, even vaguely, in front of sparrow had been hard enough for him. ]

[Shiki's about to ask why Angel would subject himself to being with someone who sounds so terrible, but she knows better than to ask questions until Angel's officially done talking.]

So what would happen if she showed up here? You couldn't exactly keep hiding it, you know? You have to think about that. I mean I totally get having secrets or whatever but...you have to learn where your lines are.

[ there's a good explanation for that. cordelia grew into someone he was sure would be unrecognizable to those who knew her when she was a teenager. bearing the visions changed her, made her into a better person. how he wished they could see her like he did. it somehow felt like an offense to her memory to keep looking at her like she was still that same spoiled princess. ]

I don't want her here. [ he declares that passionately, sitting up straight in the chair. that wasn't an answer and he knew it. ] She's in a better place now and I don't want to subject her to winged experiments land. As much as I would love to see her again, she's been through enough to add being here to it.

Angel. [A sigh and she's leaning her upper body on the top of the til.] Look, I get that. Most people are pretty anti-bringing-loved-ones-to-Luceti around here, but I'm just saying you have to prepare for it! Don't you think it'd be so much worse if she showed up before you even talked to Buffy? Think about that one.

Anyway, tell me about you and Jack.

Buffy knows. She knows that C--she and I had a thing. She doesn't need to know anymore than that. Frankly, it's none of her business.

[ no, it's not, but maybe it would help him to actually talk about the losses he's endured, and so many of them fairly recently. he's lost practically everyone he's grown to care for, had his own son die in his arms in hell until the reset brought him back -- all of that, including the stress of his own experiences in hell that had nothing to do with the loss of family and friends -- is weighing down on him. angel's headed for a breakdown, soon to snap and wail on something in attempt to make himself feel better in a place he can't do anything towards making things right. no helping put LA back together, no raising his son, just... waiting. he hated waiting. he could be the most patient man on the planet if needed be (patience and the will to wait things out was part of what made him so deadly as angelus), but this wasn't one of those times he was willing to sit still. ]

I don't like the guy. He's a pirate. I don't trust that. What I think doesn't matter -- she'll do what she wants, and it's not my place to tell her what to do.

Edited 2011-09-21 05:55 (UTC)

...it's not any of my business either, but you're telling me anyway. You realize that, right? [She will continue to hound you for answers, man. Don't think she won't. Shiki's got her own set of thoughts on how all of this would work out, and she's got her own plans to make Angel spill his guts, but she's still just poking and prodding to make sure he won't snap at her.]

Seems to be how a lot of people feel about him. Jack's...Jack. It's hard to tell with him. He's almost a joke of a pirate, but he's still not someone I'd take lightly. But that's not the point. I don't care if she'll do what she wants and it's not your place to tell her what to do. It's still your place to be a good friend and let her know if Jack's doing something that's bothering you.

I'll never get why it's so hard for some of you people to talk.

Maybe I just like having someone to talk to. I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't exactly have... friends. [ and he looks genuinely saddened by this, not just because finds luceti to be a very lonely place, but because of the friends he's lost. nearly all of them. gone. dead. never coming back. he always knew that he'd outlive them -- he's immortal and humans, they get old and they die. it was the way of things, but they didn't even get a chance to grow old. it's unfair. ]

I'm not someone to be taken lightly, either.

[ shiki, you're sitting in a room with the most lethal vampire on record. the infamous scourge of europe. while angel would never take a human life unless he absolutely had to, he's not the person to be poking with sticks, especially for such petty, jealous reasons. you prod someone long enough and they're likely to bite back. just ask wolfram & hart. ]

Edited 2011-09-21 06:32 (UTC)

[...that's actually kind of sweet. You know, in it's own depressing way because she's not sure she likes that look. Shiki's not as dumb as she seems; she gets that he means something else. She's dealt with vampires enough before to get a vague idea.] Well. You know the door's always open. I work a lot, and now that everything's changed? I'll probably be here more than ever. Take a break from your patrolling sometime.

As for taking you lightly? Trust me, I know. I'm pretty aware that you could kill me. [And she pauses for a moment, wondering if she should bother filling in the rest of the story.] But I've already been there and done that. I guess that makes it less scary for me.

[ he appreciates that offer, but his attention is diverted away from himself and his own emotional turmoil to what she's inferring. ]

You've... died?

You're not the only one with secrets. But yeah...I have. I was 15.

That's young. How'd it happen?

...long story. It was an accident, doesn't matter anymore. I guess all that matters is that I won the Game and got to come back.

Game? What game?

There's this thing called the Reaper's Game...it's a game you get to play when you die so you can have a second chance at living. We were playing it for weeks.

...it's probably a bad thing that I've been there, done that. Not for myself, but for someone else. [ darla. ] Won, but it didn't work since she was on her second life, already. Couldn't give her the third I earned for her.

[ feel special, shiki. he never talks about that with anyone. not even the woman's own son -- their son. ]

So, this is your second life? New body and all?

...that's really sad. [It is, mostly because Shiki believes in giving most people chances.] But I don't know if it's the same thing. I don't think our game lets you play for other people...unless they're your entry fee. [Technically Neku was playing for all of them, so.]

It's. Well...sort of. Second life, yeah, but...this body's the body I was in the Game with. Before Luceti? I was back in my own body when I got to come back to life. The original. But then this happened and now I'm back in Eri's body and oh my gosh, I don't know why I just told you all of that but can we kind of keep that sort of thing between us? Not a lot of people actually know.

[ angel believes that... given the person. some people deserve them, others don't. there's a long list of people he'd happily rip heads off of and say 'fuck it' to giving them anything resembling a second chance. he may be a champion for the powers that be, but he's also a man. a very, very flawed man. ]

I don't think The Trials cared as long as you saw them through to completion or died trying. Pretty win/win for them.

[ ... ]

Dare I ask how you got that body? And, I don't know a thing. [ the man is a locked box. it won't get out. ]

[Shiki's got a few of her own that don't deserve a second chance, but she won't mention it. As long as they never come back.]

That's still terrible. Kind of deceiving, too.

...in order to enter the Game, you have to have an entry fee. The entry fee is what you value the most. When...when I was playing the game, I valued my appearance the most, I guess, so the Composer took it as my fee and put me in my best friend's body instead. I stayed like that for the whole game, even after I learned to value me and not Eri.

It serves it's purpose. [ ever loyal and believing in the powers after all they'd guided him towards -- he thinks he really gets it at this point, more than he ever did when he was starting off as their champion -- he believes there's a reason things are like that. he's not about to tell shiki that the life he earned was used to make a child of two vampires possible. talking about why connor exists is something he goes out of his way to avoid more than saying cordelia's name. he loves his son and he hates that he was a part of that mess.

if angel were playing the game, his entry fee would be connor. his son first above all else; his most prized possession. god, he misses him and hates that he's seemingly abandoned him. he blew up at buffy, briefly, over it the other night. ]

Hard way to learn a lesson.

[If Shiki knew all of this, she'd a.) be impressed and b.) overridden with pity because that's on so many levels of screwed up.] Purpose or not, it's still not right. [From the sounds of it, it just ruined lives anyway.]

The Composer's not exactly one to be nice about the lessons we've learned. Actually? The Composer's kind of a huge jerk.

Most composers are. Ate one, once. After a ballet. It was 18-- [ he realizes how ohgod morbid and creepy that sounds. not all are as okay with him reminiscing on his soulless days as his old team was. ] You don't want to know that.

Edited 2011-09-25 06:28 (UTC)

[Okay. She's just...staring for a second, whether from what year it supposedly was or the fact that Angel just admitted he really did eat people. Why that's surprising, she's not sure. Logically she knew vampires ate people, not animals like some of the other vampires here.] Yeah, I think I'll pass on that...besides, I think we're thinking two different kinds of composers anyway.

[ oh, shiki. angel may look young and handsome, but he's not. almost three hundred years old, this one. gotta love eternal youth. ]

I take it your composer isn't along the lines of Stravinsky and Moretti?

[ ...he's likes ballets. he's very old world like that, okay. ]

Forty-Fifth Spool of Thread - [Voice/Action]

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( action; ) omg why did i put king instead of queen.

( action; ) ...no idea. somehow I interpreted it as they were fighting to be with the prom king tho

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