so_shik | Thirty-Third Spool of Thread-[Written/Action]

Try me. [She's shoving a stool over to him so he can have a seat while she moves around the shop to grab things for him to try on]

It's actually really sort of personal, if you don't mind. I don't want to talk about it.

If you say so...I just know a lot about complicated things. [Building up a pile of clothes...] Besides, some people would find it easier to tell a complete stranger who doesn't have any idea about the people or events involved because it's not biased. But that's really up to you.

[... Holy crap that's a lot of clothes.] I... [She has a point, though.] I dunno. I can't even talk to my friends about it. I've tried, but I don't think they understand and they're okay with not understanding. But how do I know you're not going to tell anyone else?

[Shiki has a whole new fall line, silly Harry.] And...who exactly would I tell? It's nobody's business but your own, but it's going to make your head explode if the look on your face says anything.

[But it's barely even spring what the hell. He probably hasn't even owned that much clothing in his entire life.] It probably is. Sorry, I just... trusting people is hard. Especially now, since this whole thing is bound to make everyone go stupid.

... Do you remember anything about the experiment a couple of weeks ago?

[The mun meant spring but you already know why I failed and it's STILL happening argh.] I've heard the same trust story from a lot of people, it's nothing new.

[She pauses though because UGH that experiment.] ...ugh. Yeah. What about it?

[There was no munfail what are you talking about.] Yeah, I suppose a lot of people have that sort of problem, now that I think about it.

[He bites his lip. Maybe this might help.] It's really the problem behind all of this. I mean, there are a lot of other problems - a lot of them, but now I've got a whole new set of them that I have no idea how to deal with.

[♥] It's common, but it's never stopped me before.

Let me guess. You got stuck with somebody you don't normally approve of, too?

[♥] You just like hearing people's stories, then?

[... You asked.] Well, sort of. I used to hate him, but since we both got stuck here, we sort of get on, and I think before this whole stupid experiment we'd actually become friends. Most of my friends think he's vile, and he's certainly earned that reputation, but he's not so bad under all that stuff. The problem is that after the experiment there's all this stuff left over that doesn't make any bloody sense and everyone I can talk to about it is telling me it's all in my head. I don't even know that. How do they even know that? They're not in my head! How am I supposed to sort this all out when everyone I can trust thinks I've gone completely mental?

Sometimes. In my line of work, you learn being social's important. Besides, everybody can use a good listener.

[...wow. Give her a second to just kind of absorb that a.) it was a guy and b.) all of the other stuff.] ...wow. Well...you're right, I think. I guess they really can't know that since they're not in your head. But you're not doing yourself any favors trying to sort it all out in your head anyway. What exactly doesn't make sense? And...if he's so "vile" why would you be friends with him in the first place?

... Yeah, I suppose being social would help a lot when you're dressing so many people.

[He looks a little uncomfortable, but he's needed to talk to someone about this.] ... I keep thinking about it. There were parts of it I liked, but not just because I was under the experiment. I've tried to talk about it with one of my best mates, and she just said it was the experiment and I'll get over it. I'm not going to get over it, or I would have by now. I don't know if I like what we did or what I felt or even if I just like him like that. I mean, he's a boy and I'm a boy. I'm not supposed to like boys! I mean, I've come to appreciate him as a friend because I know now that he's different from what we always thought he was like. His family has a nasty history with my friends and I, and he's done some bad things, but it was mostly because he was raised to be that way. Once he got a taste of the real world, he realized how wrong that way. Hermione realizes that, but my other friends don't, and they don't really believe that I trust him as much as I do now. All of it feels wrong.

[She stops with an armful of clothes then, leaning against the counter to give him a critical stare as she tries to gauge how serious he is about this.] Sometimes things take a while to get over, but if it's something that serious? Besides, with experiments most people get over them right after the fact, maybe a few days at the most.

Which part has you freaking out the most though, that you possibly liked what you did, that you might like a boy, or that you might like him specifically? They're all three really different things. With the first thing, it could just be because you like certain things, you could have achieved the same feelings with anybody. If it's the second thing? Well...okay think about it like this. Pre-experiment, have you ever had any sort of potential feelings for another boy? That could explain things. And if it's the last thing, maybe you don't even like boys at all, maybe there's just something about him. If he was somebody you haven't always gotten along with, maybe now that you're actually friends or whatever you're finding traits about him you find attractive in people in general.

As for the rest of that, you can't really fault anybody. You can't blame him for his family, but you can't really blame your friends for feeling the way they do. You can't force it, it'll blow up in your face. But...friendship's a tricky thing, it has to have its bumps or you wouldn't appreciate it nearly as much. Besides, this can't be the worst thing you've done, is it? ...wait, this isn't the worst thing, right?

...also, you don't wear a lot of yellow, do you?

Edited 2010-03-22 05:03 (UTC)

[He braces under that stare. He can face Voldemort, but ridiculous teenage problems? Terrible. He's definitely blushing.] I can see what they mean with the idea, but I've been able to shake off the other experiments I've been through here.

I dunno... all of it? I've never thought about liking a boy before - I've barely had time to even think about girls. My first relationship wasn't so great and the second one I cut off because I couldn't be in a relationship and do what I had to do at the same time. I still like Ginny, she's amazing and more than I ever could have asked for in a girlfriend, but she never gave me what I had during that experiment. I know it was all fake, but there was a point where he and I were just together and at peace, like... the world was just us and that was okay. I've never felt like that with someone before. Maybe she could give me that if we had the time, but if I'm stuck here I may never know.

But what if I do like boys? I mean, I suppose he'd be fit if he ate a little more, and he isn't bad-looking. I can't ask him to try what we did again - it was hard enough trying to remind him that we were friends. None of my other guy friends that live at that house would agree to it, and I don't know who else to fool around with. I'm not even really a fooling around with type of guy. [Rubbing his neck.] I guess... I mean... Er, well, I thought Oliver Wood was fit, but everyone thought Oliver Wood was fit, even some of the Slytherins. I don't know if that even counts. And with this guy - the one from the experiment - we've just sort of gravitated towards each other for stupid reasons before, but I guess we get along pretty well when we get along.

I don't... I can't blame them for feeling the way they do about it. I used to feel the same way about him, about pretty much everything involved. Even just being friends with him is going to be hard to convince some of the others, I know that. But if I like him, it's like fighting an uphill battle against a mob of Death Eaters to find a Hungarian Horntail at the top. My life is full of stupid decisions and crazy situations they've had to pull me out of, and I trust them to do it, but part of me wonders if this will be the last straw. They can't trust my judgment on him, so why would they trust that I actually like him.

[He blinks. Oh yeah, there are clothes involved.] I wear gold a lot. The color, not the jewelry.

[And somewhere in the back of her mind, something clicks and Shiki realizes who exactly is sitting in front of her. What the hell.] This experiment kind of rocked everybody's boat, so to speak.

Well maybe that's what the whole thing's about, time. Luceti kind of gives us plenty of that. Maybe that's why you were attracted to him in the first place, because you had time to really get into things and realize how nice it was to be liked by somebody. If you were always so rushed, maybe it's just that things with this guy were slower so you could really tune into everything, all of the emotions and stuff. Things always turn out better when you take time to get to know the other person's wants and needs, and your own of course.

That...can mean either you can see the beauty of him as a person, or you really are attracted to him. I think if you really think on it, you'll know the answer. Is he pulling the avoidance card? Take my advice, don't tie him to a chair or lock him in a closet. It just turns out awkward. Maybe he's just confused too. Unless he was attracted to guys before the experiment, I don't know. I think hooking up with your friends would just kind of ruin everything, I don't recommend that either, trust me. [She pauses finally to think over something.] What exactly do you mean that you and the guy gravitated toward each other? Like chemistry, or literally gravitated? Some places are weird like that.

I think what you really need to analyze before trying to convince your friends is your reasons for suddenly having a change of heart. It couldn't have just been something like, you woke up one more and decided he was okay. [She's...just going to blink a little at that analogy. Orly.] If they're really your friends, they'll stick with you no matter what in the end. That has to be true. I think trying to introduce your friends to the idea of what sounds like an enemy being a friend and a potential boyfriend is going to put a lot of strain, especially when things here are already rocky because of the Malnosso and the experiments and the war that's going on out there. And everybody has their own problems, too. Baby steps.

Gold, huh? [Giving him another look-over.] I'm also thinking red, since it's complimentary with green. It'll make your eyes pop a little more.

[Just don't mention it to him! He likes thinking he's a nobody.] Definitely.

Time... [He's quiet for a moment, pondering that. He had no time with Ginny at all, and with Cho there were so many more important things to deal with.] For an experiment, it wasn't bogged down with as much trouble. I mean, it helped that it all felt natural anyway, but if I had the time, it'd be worth it to try again with someone.

... I need to think about it. [A lot.] I think if I did that, he'd probably just get angry. He always acted like a bit of a ponce before the experiment, but I was usually just taking the mickey out of him when I joked about that. And I know it will probably ruin everything, but that's a risk I have to figure out whether to take. [That does earn a tired smirk out of him.] A little bit of both, actually. We've gotten tangled up a couple of times somehow. Droids, snow, stupid things like that.

I know my reasons for changing my mind about him. He's proven himself to me, even if he's a bit skittish about admitting that loyalty exists. I tried to explain that to one of my friends, and he's insistent that I'm just being played. [He was rambling and that's all he could think of.] I just have to get through it, like everything else. They'll meet me at the end of it. They've got to. [Or so he hopes.]

Yeah. I think red goes really well with that. [The color choices are making him a little more comfortable!]

They did something like this last year, too. Only it had to do with the journals, I'm not sure how to explain what happened this year, but last year's what started things between me and my current boyfriend. If that says anything. [She pauses for a second.] ...why did it feel natural?

Thinking's not bad, just don't think too much or it's going to make things worse. And making him angry probably isn't going to help. Acting one way and being another are two different things. Maybe he doesn't realize he's acting that way, or maybe your ideas are different. Does he care when you joke about that kind of stuff, or does he just brush it off? It's a huge risk, so be careful if you really choose to go forward with it. [She just raises an eyebrow. SHIKI DOES NOT LIKE DROIDS.] Yeah? So it was kind of like accidentally coming together.

...you know. Sometimes there just isn't an explanation why you're attracted to the people you're attracted to. People fall in love with their friends all the time. Like me and Neku, he was my best friend before we finally figured out what to do. And even before that...keep this quiet okay? I don't need Haruki knowing he's kind of right, but this is going to benefit you I think. Before I came here, I had another best friend. Her name's Eri, and she was pretty much everything to me. You can kind of see where that led to. Crushes happen a lot without any explanation, that doesn't mean anything. It's just important to really determine if it's something fleeting or if it's something solid. It can go badly if you think it's one thing and it's really the other.

You've obviously seen things about this guy that your friends haven't. Give it time, eventually it'll all work out. That's about all I can tell you.

Reds and golds...maybe a little bit of gray to play off of your hair, too. [SEE, Shiki's good at her job and Harry gets a counseling session for free!]

What did it have to do with the journals? [He fidgets, trying to think of an answer.] It's hard to explain. It's like the experiment sort of rewired things in my head, so that instead of hating him or being annoyed with him for all that time, I'd fancied him instead. Everything fit into place.

I know. I've been doing too much of it as it is. I'm already good at making him angry, and he's good at making me angry. It's a bad combination. Maybe he just never realized it. I didn't mean it when I was teasing him about it. It just sort of... came out like that. But usually if it's teasing, it's teasing back and forth. With us... we give as much as we get. I'm not making this decision lightly, definitely. [DROIDS ARE BAD but gravity has definitely played a role in this.] Completely accidental.

[He nods.] Who am I going to tell? [And now, he's listening quietly. He does make a bit of a face, since he's heard Haruki mentioned by Hermione before, but other than that he's quiet. He's not sure what entirely she meant, but he might get it?] I think I know enough not to chase after crushes. I probably shouldn't be chasing after it at all, but I can't get it out of my mind. But... how do you determine if it's solid?

I hope so. They just need to see it.

Gray? How does gray play off my hair? [Yes! He's feeling a lot more comfortable about it.]

It was like...the first person you talked to you fell in love with, but it wasn't anywhere near as natural as it was this year. Trust me. [DNW to think about kissing Mitsuru ktnx.] Think about that out of experiment context. Do you think everything now would be natural if you guys had a second chance?

Thinking too much is going to give you wrinkles early. [She's just kind of listening to all of that before she says this rather tentatively.] So really...if you guys didn't have so much bad history, you probably could have been like best friends. Is it like that kind of deal? I figured you weren't making it lightly, since you're so confused on what to do.

[She shrugs a little at that.] Just throwing it out there. I figure I've experienced things, I should be helpful and make sure everybody else knows. Kind of just the fact you're bothering to chase it at all makes it a little more solid than fling-like. If it was something fleeting, you wouldn't be so determined to figure it out and fix it. Let me ask you this. Do you imagine it at all? What it'd be like dating him seriously, I mean.

They will, and even if they don't really accept him they'll hopefully be nice for your sake.

Because your hair's black. Like a charcoal gray, I think, since it'll intensify your eyes even more and you need that since they're hiding behind your glasses in the first place. And maybe some blues. I'd stay away from greens though, I don't think it'd help you too much. [Shiki's just that good.]

... But even if it wasn't natural, did it still work that way this year? [Oh god, what if it's his fault?] It's sort of the flip side of how things usually are. We didn't change, our feelings did, and it sort of built out from there.

Something like that. [Wrinkles are better than say... splattergroit.] I think we might've been. History can't change, but we grew up and started being less stupid so it just came together after that.

Thanks for that. I'm really, really inexperienced with this stuff. [Part of the job. He feels a bit silly, since he was so angry at her when they first met. Also this is awkward.] I... I imagine certain parts of dating more than others. When it gets to the actual "if we were dating" part, it's more about how angry everyone else would be at me and all the fighting I'd have to do in order to prove I'm not bewitched or anything. That part I get hung up on.

Oh. Er... I guess that sounds about right. [All these colors, wtf. He'll trust her on this.]

...actually, this year my boyfriend ended up with a girl who's a lot like me and I ended up with one of my other friend's older female friend. Needless to say? Totally awkward. ...so it's not really something to rule out if your personalities didn't change, right? If there was something to calm you guys down enough to try again, do you think it'd build up again?

[Yes, but Shiki doesn't know what splattergroit is.] Suddenly things make a lot more sense. Growing up...it changes things. How old are you guys anyway? Not that it matters, just for my own curiosity.

I'm not going to say I'm really experienced, but I'm kind of good with these things. [Shiki lives to make things awkward.] What certain parts, exactly? [Even though she can already guess.] See, there you go again with worrying about what your friends will think. They just need to take time to see the things you see. But that's if you can convince him first. I think he's more important to prove things to than your friends right now if you're really serious about this.

Cool...you don't look like a button-down type...[throws a handful of stuff behind the counter.] Except for this one. It's maroon, it'll work well. T-shirts and jeans that actually fit, maybe a nice pair of slacks if you ever get a date...vests are out, it's getting too warm for hoodies...what about a blazer?

...Er, that must've been awkward. [Thanks, Captain Obvious.] I think that maybe it could, even though the idea seems weird. That's why I haven't just dismissed it.

[She's all the better for it.] We're both seventeen, but that's considered of age where we come from. But it was more of a maturity thing that happened between us than anything.

I'd say you're more experienced than I am. [The color sort of drains from his face.] Could we not talk about that? [Yeah, that.] Right. I just need to convince myself it's a good idea and then convince him. [And yet it's so nerve-wracking.]

... A blazer?

Just a bit. [She doesn't mind because he's kind of precious.] It's worth a shot, if you could ever get things to calm down to build up again. It sounds like he's kind of gunshy on the whole thing. If it really wasn't a big deal, he'd treat it like it wasn't a big deal. From the sounds of it? It's a big deal.

Like I said, it was just for my curiosity. It's funny what maturity does to people, isn't it? Once you get past the childish parts, you realize a lot of things you never would have even considered.

Probably, but it's not really something to be bragging about. I'm only sixteen. ...ah, got it. [AWKWARD.] That...is going to be harder than it sounds, isn't it?

Yeah, you know. [Busy fetching a nice dark blue one and a black one to go with the slacks.] Just try these and those jeans and the white t-shirts for right now. I just want to check for sizes.

[Give the poor silly wizard a hug!] ... You're right. If it wasn't a big deal, he'd be taking the piss out of me constantly.

A lot of things that made us hate each other seemed kind of silly. The rest of it just makes more sense to us than it did when we were kids. It's a bit strange.

What does it matter? Experience is experience. [Yeah, exactly.] Probably. I think I can handle it.

[What is all this nice clothing.] Isn't this a bit formal?

[She might if it wasn't too weird right now.] I'm not sure if that's a good thing, or if that's gross. [Oh British slang, you are over Shiki's head.]

See? You just have to push past it, get him to focus on what happened between you two instead. You'll work through it and this might sound weird? But if you need any help, you know where to find me.

[She's just going to laugh a little.] It's casual-formal, the slacks are only for special occasions. The blazers on the other hand can be worn for formal or just everyday. I'm mostly curious how better jeans will fit you. And the shirt. [She's grabbing the black blazer, a pair of lighter and darker jeans, a black normal t-shirt, and a dark blue v-neck type of t-shirt. And thus, Shiki will shove him toward the room behind the curtain.] Go try those on for me, I want to have a look.

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