so_shik | Thirty-Third Spool of Thread-[Written/Action]

[He braces under that stare. He can face Voldemort, but ridiculous teenage problems? Terrible. He's definitely blushing.] I can see what they mean with the idea, but I've been able to shake off the other experiments I've been through here.

I dunno... all of it? I've never thought about liking a boy before - I've barely had time to even think about girls. My first relationship wasn't so great and the second one I cut off because I couldn't be in a relationship and do what I had to do at the same time. I still like Ginny, she's amazing and more than I ever could have asked for in a girlfriend, but she never gave me what I had during that experiment. I know it was all fake, but there was a point where he and I were just together and at peace, like... the world was just us and that was okay. I've never felt like that with someone before. Maybe she could give me that if we had the time, but if I'm stuck here I may never know.

But what if I do like boys? I mean, I suppose he'd be fit if he ate a little more, and he isn't bad-looking. I can't ask him to try what we did again - it was hard enough trying to remind him that we were friends. None of my other guy friends that live at that house would agree to it, and I don't know who else to fool around with. I'm not even really a fooling around with type of guy. [Rubbing his neck.] I guess... I mean... Er, well, I thought Oliver Wood was fit, but everyone thought Oliver Wood was fit, even some of the Slytherins. I don't know if that even counts. And with this guy - the one from the experiment - we've just sort of gravitated towards each other for stupid reasons before, but I guess we get along pretty well when we get along.

I don't... I can't blame them for feeling the way they do about it. I used to feel the same way about him, about pretty much everything involved. Even just being friends with him is going to be hard to convince some of the others, I know that. But if I like him, it's like fighting an uphill battle against a mob of Death Eaters to find a Hungarian Horntail at the top. My life is full of stupid decisions and crazy situations they've had to pull me out of, and I trust them to do it, but part of me wonders if this will be the last straw. They can't trust my judgment on him, so why would they trust that I actually like him.

[He blinks. Oh yeah, there are clothes involved.] I wear gold a lot. The color, not the jewelry.

[And somewhere in the back of her mind, something clicks and Shiki realizes who exactly is sitting in front of her. What the hell.] This experiment kind of rocked everybody's boat, so to speak.

Well maybe that's what the whole thing's about, time. Luceti kind of gives us plenty of that. Maybe that's why you were attracted to him in the first place, because you had time to really get into things and realize how nice it was to be liked by somebody. If you were always so rushed, maybe it's just that things with this guy were slower so you could really tune into everything, all of the emotions and stuff. Things always turn out better when you take time to get to know the other person's wants and needs, and your own of course.

That...can mean either you can see the beauty of him as a person, or you really are attracted to him. I think if you really think on it, you'll know the answer. Is he pulling the avoidance card? Take my advice, don't tie him to a chair or lock him in a closet. It just turns out awkward. Maybe he's just confused too. Unless he was attracted to guys before the experiment, I don't know. I think hooking up with your friends would just kind of ruin everything, I don't recommend that either, trust me. [She pauses finally to think over something.] What exactly do you mean that you and the guy gravitated toward each other? Like chemistry, or literally gravitated? Some places are weird like that.

I think what you really need to analyze before trying to convince your friends is your reasons for suddenly having a change of heart. It couldn't have just been something like, you woke up one more and decided he was okay. [She's...just going to blink a little at that analogy. Orly.] If they're really your friends, they'll stick with you no matter what in the end. That has to be true. I think trying to introduce your friends to the idea of what sounds like an enemy being a friend and a potential boyfriend is going to put a lot of strain, especially when things here are already rocky because of the Malnosso and the experiments and the war that's going on out there. And everybody has their own problems, too. Baby steps.

Gold, huh? [Giving him another look-over.] I'm also thinking red, since it's complimentary with green. It'll make your eyes pop a little more.

[Just don't mention it to him! He likes thinking he's a nobody.] Definitely.

Time... [He's quiet for a moment, pondering that. He had no time with Ginny at all, and with Cho there were so many more important things to deal with.] For an experiment, it wasn't bogged down with as much trouble. I mean, it helped that it all felt natural anyway, but if I had the time, it'd be worth it to try again with someone.

... I need to think about it. [A lot.] I think if I did that, he'd probably just get angry. He always acted like a bit of a ponce before the experiment, but I was usually just taking the mickey out of him when I joked about that. And I know it will probably ruin everything, but that's a risk I have to figure out whether to take. [That does earn a tired smirk out of him.] A little bit of both, actually. We've gotten tangled up a couple of times somehow. Droids, snow, stupid things like that.

I know my reasons for changing my mind about him. He's proven himself to me, even if he's a bit skittish about admitting that loyalty exists. I tried to explain that to one of my friends, and he's insistent that I'm just being played. [He was rambling and that's all he could think of.] I just have to get through it, like everything else. They'll meet me at the end of it. They've got to. [Or so he hopes.]

Yeah. I think red goes really well with that. [The color choices are making him a little more comfortable!]

They did something like this last year, too. Only it had to do with the journals, I'm not sure how to explain what happened this year, but last year's what started things between me and my current boyfriend. If that says anything. [She pauses for a second.] ...why did it feel natural?

Thinking's not bad, just don't think too much or it's going to make things worse. And making him angry probably isn't going to help. Acting one way and being another are two different things. Maybe he doesn't realize he's acting that way, or maybe your ideas are different. Does he care when you joke about that kind of stuff, or does he just brush it off? It's a huge risk, so be careful if you really choose to go forward with it. [She just raises an eyebrow. SHIKI DOES NOT LIKE DROIDS.] Yeah? So it was kind of like accidentally coming together.

...you know. Sometimes there just isn't an explanation why you're attracted to the people you're attracted to. People fall in love with their friends all the time. Like me and Neku, he was my best friend before we finally figured out what to do. And even before that...keep this quiet okay? I don't need Haruki knowing he's kind of right, but this is going to benefit you I think. Before I came here, I had another best friend. Her name's Eri, and she was pretty much everything to me. You can kind of see where that led to. Crushes happen a lot without any explanation, that doesn't mean anything. It's just important to really determine if it's something fleeting or if it's something solid. It can go badly if you think it's one thing and it's really the other.

You've obviously seen things about this guy that your friends haven't. Give it time, eventually it'll all work out. That's about all I can tell you.

Reds and golds...maybe a little bit of gray to play off of your hair, too. [SEE, Shiki's good at her job and Harry gets a counseling session for free!]

What did it have to do with the journals? [He fidgets, trying to think of an answer.] It's hard to explain. It's like the experiment sort of rewired things in my head, so that instead of hating him or being annoyed with him for all that time, I'd fancied him instead. Everything fit into place.

I know. I've been doing too much of it as it is. I'm already good at making him angry, and he's good at making me angry. It's a bad combination. Maybe he just never realized it. I didn't mean it when I was teasing him about it. It just sort of... came out like that. But usually if it's teasing, it's teasing back and forth. With us... we give as much as we get. I'm not making this decision lightly, definitely. [DROIDS ARE BAD but gravity has definitely played a role in this.] Completely accidental.

[He nods.] Who am I going to tell? [And now, he's listening quietly. He does make a bit of a face, since he's heard Haruki mentioned by Hermione before, but other than that he's quiet. He's not sure what entirely she meant, but he might get it?] I think I know enough not to chase after crushes. I probably shouldn't be chasing after it at all, but I can't get it out of my mind. But... how do you determine if it's solid?

I hope so. They just need to see it.

Gray? How does gray play off my hair? [Yes! He's feeling a lot more comfortable about it.]

It was like...the first person you talked to you fell in love with, but it wasn't anywhere near as natural as it was this year. Trust me. [DNW to think about kissing Mitsuru ktnx.] Think about that out of experiment context. Do you think everything now would be natural if you guys had a second chance?

Thinking too much is going to give you wrinkles early. [She's just kind of listening to all of that before she says this rather tentatively.] So really...if you guys didn't have so much bad history, you probably could have been like best friends. Is it like that kind of deal? I figured you weren't making it lightly, since you're so confused on what to do.

[She shrugs a little at that.] Just throwing it out there. I figure I've experienced things, I should be helpful and make sure everybody else knows. Kind of just the fact you're bothering to chase it at all makes it a little more solid than fling-like. If it was something fleeting, you wouldn't be so determined to figure it out and fix it. Let me ask you this. Do you imagine it at all? What it'd be like dating him seriously, I mean.

They will, and even if they don't really accept him they'll hopefully be nice for your sake.

Because your hair's black. Like a charcoal gray, I think, since it'll intensify your eyes even more and you need that since they're hiding behind your glasses in the first place. And maybe some blues. I'd stay away from greens though, I don't think it'd help you too much. [Shiki's just that good.]

... But even if it wasn't natural, did it still work that way this year? [Oh god, what if it's his fault?] It's sort of the flip side of how things usually are. We didn't change, our feelings did, and it sort of built out from there.

Something like that. [Wrinkles are better than say... splattergroit.] I think we might've been. History can't change, but we grew up and started being less stupid so it just came together after that.

Thanks for that. I'm really, really inexperienced with this stuff. [Part of the job. He feels a bit silly, since he was so angry at her when they first met. Also this is awkward.] I... I imagine certain parts of dating more than others. When it gets to the actual "if we were dating" part, it's more about how angry everyone else would be at me and all the fighting I'd have to do in order to prove I'm not bewitched or anything. That part I get hung up on.

Oh. Er... I guess that sounds about right. [All these colors, wtf. He'll trust her on this.]

...actually, this year my boyfriend ended up with a girl who's a lot like me and I ended up with one of my other friend's older female friend. Needless to say? Totally awkward. ...so it's not really something to rule out if your personalities didn't change, right? If there was something to calm you guys down enough to try again, do you think it'd build up again?

[Yes, but Shiki doesn't know what splattergroit is.] Suddenly things make a lot more sense. Growing up...it changes things. How old are you guys anyway? Not that it matters, just for my own curiosity.

I'm not going to say I'm really experienced, but I'm kind of good with these things. [Shiki lives to make things awkward.] What certain parts, exactly? [Even though she can already guess.] See, there you go again with worrying about what your friends will think. They just need to take time to see the things you see. But that's if you can convince him first. I think he's more important to prove things to than your friends right now if you're really serious about this.

Cool...you don't look like a button-down type...[throws a handful of stuff behind the counter.] Except for this one. It's maroon, it'll work well. T-shirts and jeans that actually fit, maybe a nice pair of slacks if you ever get a date...vests are out, it's getting too warm for hoodies...what about a blazer?

...Er, that must've been awkward. [Thanks, Captain Obvious.] I think that maybe it could, even though the idea seems weird. That's why I haven't just dismissed it.

[She's all the better for it.] We're both seventeen, but that's considered of age where we come from. But it was more of a maturity thing that happened between us than anything.

I'd say you're more experienced than I am. [The color sort of drains from his face.] Could we not talk about that? [Yeah, that.] Right. I just need to convince myself it's a good idea and then convince him. [And yet it's so nerve-wracking.]

... A blazer?

Just a bit. [She doesn't mind because he's kind of precious.] It's worth a shot, if you could ever get things to calm down to build up again. It sounds like he's kind of gunshy on the whole thing. If it really wasn't a big deal, he'd treat it like it wasn't a big deal. From the sounds of it? It's a big deal.

Like I said, it was just for my curiosity. It's funny what maturity does to people, isn't it? Once you get past the childish parts, you realize a lot of things you never would have even considered.

Probably, but it's not really something to be bragging about. I'm only sixteen. ...ah, got it. [AWKWARD.] That...is going to be harder than it sounds, isn't it?

Yeah, you know. [Busy fetching a nice dark blue one and a black one to go with the slacks.] Just try these and those jeans and the white t-shirts for right now. I just want to check for sizes.

[Give the poor silly wizard a hug!] ... You're right. If it wasn't a big deal, he'd be taking the piss out of me constantly.

A lot of things that made us hate each other seemed kind of silly. The rest of it just makes more sense to us than it did when we were kids. It's a bit strange.

What does it matter? Experience is experience. [Yeah, exactly.] Probably. I think I can handle it.

[What is all this nice clothing.] Isn't this a bit formal?

[She might if it wasn't too weird right now.] I'm not sure if that's a good thing, or if that's gross. [Oh British slang, you are over Shiki's head.]

See? You just have to push past it, get him to focus on what happened between you two instead. You'll work through it and this might sound weird? But if you need any help, you know where to find me.

[She's just going to laugh a little.] It's casual-formal, the slacks are only for special occasions. The blazers on the other hand can be worn for formal or just everyday. I'm mostly curious how better jeans will fit you. And the shirt. [She's grabbing the black blazer, a pair of lighter and darker jeans, a black normal t-shirt, and a dark blue v-neck type of t-shirt. And thus, Shiki will shove him toward the room behind the curtain.] Go try those on for me, I want to have a look.

[He blinks. Yeah, that probably comes across as weird.] Oh! Er, it means that he'd be making fun of me, basically.

Exactly. [That's kind of an amazing revelation. They're both still thinking a lot about it. Whoa.] I think I just might. Maybe it is weird, but I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this.

Er... alright. [What on earth is casual-formal? Isn't that a contradiction? WHAT ARE ALL THESE FASHION WORDS there is no project runway in wizarding britain. But he'll go into the fitting room and try it on like a good Gryffindor. It's definitely much more closer to his body shape than he's used to, and he's going to come out wearing the blazer, the dark jeans, and the black shirt in hopes of color-coordinating. Possibly. When he steps out of the fitting room, he's feeling a bit body-conscious.]

Oh! Well then yeah, it kind of says something if he's not making fun of you for overreacting.

[Silly boy, of course you're both still thinking about it. Shiki knows.] I don't mind at all. ...oh, and I'm Shiki. You're in my class at school and all but I don't know if you knew that.

[Shiki's just going to hang out and wait, but as soon as he's out of the ~~closet~~ dressing room, Shiki's kinda just going to gawk.] ...wow.

I just have to figure out what that something is.

[Don't mind him, he's socially retarded.] Thanks, Shiki. I'm Harry. I don't know much of anyone at school, to be honest. Hermione's the one that knows everybody.

[Ahaha, it's still going to be a while before he realizes there's a closet to come out of. As for the dressing room, he hasn't strayed too far out of it.] ... Is that a good wow?

You'll figure it out.

[She's used to socially retarded boys.] Harry, I think I can remember that. [There's a bit of a teasing grin that changes then] Hermione's the girl who basically knows everything right?

[Shiki's just still looking.] Um. Come look at yourself. [And she's motioning for him to follow her to a mirror]

[He grins back.] Yeah, that's Hermione. She's usually tutoring and helping out all over the place, but that's not really my thing.

[At least her eyes aren't going up to his scar?] ... Sure. [The walk there is awkward, but whoa! There was a body under that tent! Harry is going to stop to look at it, because where the hell did that come from.]

She was partnered with one of my housemates for the egg project. She seems pretty nice, actually.

[She doesn't do cosmetics, sorry. But once Harry's looking at himself she just grins in approval.] Harry? Hate to break it to you, but you definitely look better.

[Blink.] You live with that guy?

[I don't think anyone is getting him into makeup ever. But at least it's good attention and not fame attention.] I think you're right about that. [When did that butt get there and why are those jeans showing it off so well?]

That's generally the reaction most people have. Yeah, I've lived with Haruki since last summer.

[Harry Potter and his Adventures in Crossdressing? Probably not smart ever. But Shiki's happy to give him attention right now in order to prove she's right.] See how much better you look when things actually fit? Who knew that was under all of the bagginess.

I remember he drove her crazy sometimes. How can you stand it?

[Yeah, definitely leaving the crossdressing to the adventures of DanRad. But seeing actual results of dressing well have him more excited about it all.] Yeah, you have a point there. I certainly didn't know this was there.

He drives everybody crazy, me included. It's a gift though, he's another one of my closest friends here. I've just learned how to handle him.

[I like those adventures. Shiki's just going to grin. Victory shall be hers.] And this is why I own the shop and why I make the clothes. I really do know what I'm talking about.

I haven't talked to him yet. I suspect I'd fly off the handle about the way he treats Hermione. You just have a way with people, I suppose.

[DanRad's adventures are awesome and they will only get more awesome in the future. Harry will acknowledge defeat, but it's a win in the end for both of them.] I can see that now!

Yeah he's a really complicated person to really handle well most of the time. Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Guess it's like magic.

[This is true so long as he doesn't die. Shiki will agree to that.] Take off the blazer, I want you to see yourself in just the fitted t-shirt.

Some people are like that. [Like said experiment guy.] Like magic, you think? [The comparison amuses him.]

[He needs to be kept alive by sheer force of his awesomeness. And maybe one day Shiki will find out Harry can sew, but baby steps! A bit more confident now, he'll take off that blazer.] What do you think?

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